Wednesday, 26 November 2014

Revulsion


I am a real person. I am both strong and weak. Would you not try to judge my gender? I am male or a female?

I was raped. Now you are sure I am a girl. Men are not raped. What about child abuse. You must have heard cases where little boys have also been sexually abused. It’s not a girl or a boy then, but just kids. Do you now, atleast consider my gender to be male? Yes, you are giving it a thought.

Where was I? I was raped, right?

The first thing that would come to your mind is what was I wearing? Provoking short clothes. Ok, let me confirm you that I am a male. YES, I am a male and I was raped. What now? That couldn’t be the reason right. If it had been, then Salman Khan would have been the one to be raped the most.

Am I characterless? Almost 80% of men are. We would ogle and leer at every girl who thinks she is beautiful. Spending a night with someone is a trophy to be bragged about. But I am not one of them. I am a shy guy. I never had female friends. Even at office I just had formal talks with them. Love and such things, I have never felt for anybody except my family. I although have a crush on Priyanka Chopra. She is very pretty.

Should I have been at my home at night? Yes, I always do that. I don’t do it scared of being raped. I do it of not getting robbed. I take enough precautions. I don’t talk to strangers and keep myself safe and sound in this unknown city. That day it was by chance that I had to work late. The project was critical and my incentive depended on it. I stayed late and it made all the difference.

What was the reason then? Was I weak? Yes, I was. They were four men and me alone. I hit gym but still, four were too many. First of all, it broke my confidence that I could be raped. I knew I was going to be raped and instead of helping myself I started seeking for help. But no one came.

I came out of the office. The clock clearly explained that the public transport would not be available at this time. I was walking on the lonely road in hope of finding an auto-rickshaw. Four men blocked my path. They asked for my purse and just a single knife was enough for me to submit my wallet and mobile. They were drunk but fully conscious of what they were doing. Three of them turned to run away but one of them had an evil grin. “Wait, let’s try something different.” I clearly remember his words. I still hear it sometimes and it scares me the same every time. They shoved a cloth in my mouth and dragged me. It was an hour almost but a decade for me.

Am I ashamed of being raped? Yes, I am. So don’t ask me how I feel. You will never know until you are raped. If you really wanna know, I will give you the address of the street and you can try your luck there.

Did I lodge a complaint? No, I didn’t. I have not told anyone. I can’t. I still want to stay the macho-man my friends call me because of my build. Am I guilty of being raped? Yes, I am. I did nothing to stop rape than just argue like shitheads with my friends like I do about cricket. If a person is raped, there is just one reason. It is the criminal distorted mindset of some sick bastards. The only other reason I have found out till now is, this sleeping, double faced society.

You pity me right. YES, even I do. There is a lot of revulsion. But you will ask me to be strong because men are supposed to be. I am scared but even more when I think...
What if I was a girl?


Monday, 17 November 2014

Stop Laughing


Richa was coming from the front. A drop of sweat trickled down Raj’s face. He stopped his hastening to and fro movements and stood still like the statue in the nearby park. 

Blue salwar, white kameez, a flick of kohl in the eyes. 4 metal bangles on each hand, beaded earrings, a thin nose ring and a smile on her charming face. She was dark, not chocolate dark but enough not to be called fair. She jerked her head to let the strip of her hair flow back behind her ears. It would however come back any second.

They have been in the relationship for 3 years. Anyone would have fallen in love with her queer prankish personality. She came and proposed and he immediately said yes. The couple was a symbol of love and trust.

“You are sweating. Did I make you wait very long?” Richa held her ears with a tensed cute look.

“Naah, I came early. Need something to drink. Let’s go.” They took the last seat of the restaurant to maintain their privacy.

“You know, my mom is taking me for shopping today. It’s my brother’s marriage after all. I will leave in an hour.”

“I wanted to say something.”

“Since when did you start asking permission from me? You are the bossy one here.” Richa smirked but she felt the awkward silence. She kept her palm over his.

“We need to break-up.” Raj said for the first time looking straight in her eyes.

“What?” Drops of cold coffee spread over the table as she coughed. A pool flew out of the glass with the jolt and successfully landed on the red carpet. The straw took 3 merry go round trips and preferred to stay in the glass.

“I don’t like golgappe but eat it to keep you happy. We don’t have anything more to talk about at our night calls. You started lying to me about your friends. We are not so excited to meet each other like earlier. You talk more about your family than us. You would not miss classes anymore to go out for a movie with me. You have started scolding me for things you don’t like.” He said it all in one go. Every excuse he had thought of giving her.

She was gazing him right in the eyes. He couldn’t take it anymore and lowered his head. He was well prepared for a slap in the public and he deserved it. He was ready for it all.

“Ok.”

That was a calm reply. He was shocked and lifted his head up in amazement. She was walking away whistling. Instead of being enraged, she left him in astonishment.

“Wait, STOP.”

She halted and turned.

“Would you not say anything? Are you not mad at me? You would have been hurt but you are happy. I just can’t believe it.”

She stood there laughing. The laugh was even more infuriating than the whistle.

“Would you really not do anything to save our relationship?” His frustration was catching more eyes. 

“Please stop laughing.” He screamed.

The laugh stopped but the smile remained.

“I would come running after you. Do every silly bit till whatever it will take, to get us back together. But first…”

She took the dramatic pause. How could she miss the expressions on his face. He was eagerly waiting for her to finish the sentence. His expressions changed 100 times per second from all fear, astonishment, worry, and what not.

“But first, Learn to live without me.”

She walked away laughing hysterically. 

Monday, 10 November 2014

He & Her Birthdays


Raj woke up and didn’t find her beside on the bed. The clanking of utensils from the kitchen signaled that she had woken up early today. He got up, took a big yawn and moved towards the bathroom to clean his teeth.

Richa was preparing a cake in the kitchen. She remembers every date that brought a change in their life. She loves celebrating each one of them. He however has to be reminded of them. He can’t even recall the occasion by mentioning the date.



But birthdays are always special. Why to ruin it if he doesn't remember it. A cake and the surprise would bring excitement to his face. We will go to a movie in the evening and dine at their favourite restaurant. No, we will do candle light dinner today. Richa had been thinking while applying icing to the perfectly baked cake.

It had been four years of their marriage. Not for a single time he remembered to wish her. She has now got accustomed to it. Birthdays are not so special for Raj. He wouldn’t celebrate even his birthday if Richa wouldn’t force him to. She forgives him now but celebration should not be affected.

“Good morning.” Richa came out of the kitchen.

Raj replied back with his face still inside the newspaper.

“Do you remember what it is today?”

Richa was very eager to find the same surprise look on his face. She would then let him make some wild guess until she lose patience and tell him.

“Oh yeah, I do. I have to fill this date in some documents every other month.”

Raj's face had a smile. He was confused and a little happy. The same look had started coming to Richa's face while her happiness was decreasing.

“It’s my birthday.” Raj exclaimed.

Richa brought out the cake hidden behind her and bumped it on the dining table. The cherry on the top tumbled down the floor.

Raj on seeing the cake, excitedly leaped towards it.

“You forget my birthday every year but remember yours. How selfish.” Richa slapped Raj, went inside the room and locked it.

Raj stood there perplexed holding the knife in his hand whether to cut the cake or not.


Friday, 7 November 2014

The best ones


“You are always chatting with him. You sure he is not your boyfriend.” Richa asked priya.

“I told you many times, we are just friends. The best ones.” She put extra stress on her last sentence to frustrate her.

“You are so close to him, don’t you love him?”

“Yes, of course I do. I don’t know what this love is but I like everything just the way it is. And I am sure that this will also be his reply.”

“Ok, what’s your favourite hangout place?”

She looked out of her laptop screen and to her, for the first time. Even she was not looking at her and busy combing her hair. She smiled thinking about her answer.

“We don’t have one. We never hung out much.”

“WTF”, the comb dropped and both of them got full attention.

“How did you both got so close and all those trust on each other things came up?”

“I don’t know. We were totally different from each other and we both just got better friends with time. We did meet occasionally and talked. May be that’s why this friendship is so special.”

“I get it. That’s why you don’t have a single gift given from him. Every one of those dumb head friend I made have always hit on me. And girl you are way prettier than me.”

“I haven’t got your attitude.”

“How come he never hit on you? Is he gay?”

Priya punched her lightly.

“No, seriously. Are you the only girl he talks with? May be that’s why you are so special for him.”

“He is a big time flirt. He would have dated more people than you have. But he never flirts with me. Although he calls me his girlfriend and promise to pester me till I find someone.”

The smile with occasional laugh about the memories made Richa feel so jealous.

“Yaar, make him my boyfriend. I need someone like him.”

“It is better you don’t. That’s the only bad thing about him. He will date you, flirt with you and then 
leave without any explanation. I don’t understand when he became like this.”

Richa saw her feeling sad and lost somewhere else. She needed to bring her back.

“Why don’t you both go in a relationship? You would be perfect.”

She looked at her and back to the laptop screen. He had been pinging her question marks for long time.

“That’s the reason I have a best friend and you don’t.”

Richa understood her friendship for the first time.